1- DH will offer to till the garden
2- I'll say I don't want the garden tilled
3- DH will have NOTHING to do with a garden that isn't tilled and hoed. If you want "that kind of garden," you will be on your own.
4. DH will complain about how ugly the weeds are and how terrible our garden looks. (Sometimes step 4 will occur while DH is munching on something from the ugly garden.)
5- Fall will come and the argument will get laid to rest until the next year.
At least it was always that way until last fall. Last year's garden was practically nonexistent because of family illnesses and my bad back. The weeds were over my head and I couldn't do anything about it. Surprisingly we did get a few bits of produce, a green bean or 2 and the occasional cucumber. Still, most of our produce came from the farmer's market. So when fall came, I turned over all the gardening for this year to DH. It turns out that since DH is away from home a lot, he didn't think he could handle all the gardening by himself and maybe he would just like to be more helpful and supportive of my gardening ideals when he is home! (Insert a hallelujah chorus here and throw in some fireworks, too!) This year our garden is going to be a joint effort!
Starting in late February, DH proved his commitment by helping to pick out the seeds from the catalog and put up the grow lights and shelves in the basement. Our seeds did really well! This weekend we got most of the garden set up and planted (did ya notice the "we" in that sentence??) DH did most of the back-breaking stuff, the bending and stooping and crawling. He also put up two sections of fencing for the climbing stuff. And he hauled in and spread the straw to keep the weeds down. It was something to see the look on his face when he saw the great condition of the soil!
My part of the compromise was to divide the garden in half. One half will lay dormant this year. We will spread the wasted hay and critter bedding on it for next year's garden. Then we will rotate the plants to that half and let the current garden be dormant.
I think we're going to make a pretty great team!