Monday, February 2, 2015

Autopsy Report....#4

In continuation of possible ways I could die while homesteading...

 My word, did it rain yesterday! I'm glad it wasn't snow or I'd be shoveling like Mark over at Hoosier Country Home. Instead I just had to deal with the deluge while I was taking care of the outside critters. I had a quick overnight trip planned so I was giving everyone extra rations and bedding which just added to the time I spent getting soaked. On top of that, I was dealing with herding issues. As in, I had to keep the chickens corralled in their pen since I wouldn't be home to lock them up. And Moose the buck goat had figured out a way to sneak into the doe pen. I don't know even now how he did it! But until everything was "tight" we decided to just let them run together. Which meant I was hand feeding the does their grain (pregnancy rations) to keep the bucks grain free- stooping in the doe shed so the feed didn't get wet.

 I came home today to below freezing temperatures and what looked like the remnants of a goat frat party. The troughs were torn down  and mangled and alfalfa pellets were all over the doe shed. The goats attacked me for food as soon as I got the (now frozen solid) lock to open. Of course they were hungry, they won't eat off the floor. So after separating them into their respective pens (again) and getting some grain into the starving mommies-to-be, and cleaning up the mess, and cursing under my breath- ok out loud, don't tell on me,.. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, I had to figure out a way to feed those pellets til I can goat proof a trough. I was thinking the best temporary fix would be to hang buckets on the fence so they won't get knocked over. We have lots of buckets so that should be easy. Except ALL of the hangers have disappeared. EVERY! LAST! ONE! is missing. Gone. 

 So off I go- to load them up with hay until I can find the bucket hangers. But by this time I'm so cold and mad and cold that I forgot we had a major downpour yesterday... and there's a little ditch that runs along the sliding door of the hay room... and that little ditch is always full of water after a rain... and now all the water is going to be ICE!

Autopsy Report #4 
Subject was found in the Spring thaw, wrapped around the tree nearest her hay storage. The bark imprint on her mid region indicates she was trying to do a triple klutz lutz with one leg and a toe loop with the other. Neither would have earned her a 10 on the judges card simply because her skating outfit of choice consisted of duck canvas instead of lace and rhinestones. It appears she may have tried to call for help- the neighbors reported hearing noises but thought it was the starving goats in the vicinity.


  1. Thank the lord goats aren't omnivores :)

  2. You know, folks might think there was some measure of justice left in the world if there was a line somewhere in there about how she was found with her fingers still wrapped around the neck of a goat that was rumored to be the chief vandal in the herd. (Services for Hoosier Girl on Thursday, goat burial up next to the woods immediately following. Bring your shovel - for the goat, that is.)

    I grew up on beef farm and we had the occasion wild-eyed heifer that liked to challenge the fences and rebel against being herded, but we had NOTHIN' like the demon (or maybe just bored) vandal goat damage you describe. I guess when my time for goats come, I better have my mind right going in.

    Oh, and thanks for the blog reference! Very cool!


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