Friday, January 30, 2015

Autopsy Report....#1

 Yesterday I had an "incident" while I was feeding the critters and it got me to thinking about how much more dangerous this lifestyle will get as I age. There are so many ways I could leave this old world and I don't want to sound macabre but... if I'm going anyway, why not in a way that everyone will remember? While I'm doing what I love?

 Anyhow, I shared the "incident" on my Facebook page yesterday and it got me to thinking...my demise could make for some interesting autopsy reports and obituaries, right? So, at the risk of scaring some people away from this adventurous life, I'm going to have some fun sharing some of the possible scenarios. For starters, yesterday:

 We had a wind alert- VERY windy. I was carrying a couple flakes of hay to the goat pen when I heard a hen squawking in an extremely excited tone. I mean this girl was happy. She had found an old length of that old orange baling twine that likes to hide around our little place. As she raced over to show it to me (long trail of twine snaking along behind AND a crowd of chickens coming to see what the fuss was about) the wind caught some loose hay in my arms and blew it right into my line of sight (luckily I was wearing glasses!) So I tripped over the dancing chicken and got the twine wrapped around my boot. I managed to break my fall by dropping the hay and blindly grasping the goat pen for support. But it could have been much worse. This would have been
 AUTOPSY REPORT #1:

Death resulting from wind blown hay blinding subject to loose baling twine and dancing chicken underfoot.

4 comments:

  1. Allow me to be the first, on the blog anyway, to suggest an alternate, somewhat darker, scenario:

    Heard on the evening news: An Indiana woman known as "Hoosier Girl" was found dead on her homestead in the immediate vicinity of the homestead goat pens. Fowl play is suspected. Investigators have determined that while Hoosier Girl was being distracted by the goats, she was accosted by one or more of her chickens. It appears the primary suspect, a hen, waited until Hoosier Girl had her hands occupied and vision obscured with hay for the goats, and was within range of falling into sections of the fence. The perpetrator then issued out a loud cry, bolted into Hoosier Girl's path leading the other chickens in a military-style frontal assault. The primary suspect used a section of orange bailing twine to snare Hoosier Girl's foot, causing a fatal fall into the goat fencing. The suspect hen attempted to 'fly the coop' but was quickly apprehended and has been detained 'in the pen". A motive has yet to determined, but officials have not scratched off a possible dispute over the ownership of eggs produce by the hens. Officials are investigating as to whether the goats were collaborators in a fatal ruse or merely witnesses to an unfortunate event. All critters are presumed innocent until proven guilty.

    Just a thought, anyway, while we're having fun with it. Accident or not, I'm glad you weren't seriously hurt.



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  2. LOL to both your post & Mark's :)
    Glad you're ok though.
    You ARE still ok, right Hoosier Girl?

    Hoosier Girl?!

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    1. Hoosier Girl- reporting in! Alive and kicking!

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