The winter blahs have got me! So many times I have just sat and cried this week so maybe a little blog typing will be good therapy...
First, the weather. Not "gee it's cold, put on a heavy coat" weather but "holy crap, if you don't have on two pairs of gloves and a full face toboggan, you're gonna have frostbite before you get done with the chores" weather. There's been at least an inch of ice on the roads (and my steps) for the past week. Yesterday we had a little melting-so I ventured to town. I grabbed some groceries and had a quick lunch with a couple of my DSs then I hurried back home before everything had a chance to refreeze. Feeding the outside critters has been an adventure in racing the clock. I have Reynaud's syndrome which means I get frostbite easily under normal winter temps- I really didn't want to push my luck. Needless to say, outside stuff has been done on an absolutely only as needed basis.
Second, the loneliness.After being on vacation for the holidays, DH went back to work a couple days ago. I had really gotten used to having a companion. Someone to
Third, the New Year list. Remember this?
The "hope and anticipation" for a new year has long since been replaced with a feeling of "what were you thinking??" My heart really wanted to do all those things. REALLY! But my mind has finally given it a dose of reality. We did manage to accomplish #'s 4, 6, 9 and 11. And if you count the Boston massacre, you can add #8 to the mix. Those aren't very good stats for a whole year.
So now I've reached the therapy part of the post. It's a new year and time to make some decisions. I obviously can't change the weather but I can look on the bright side. Insects are being pushed back, snow/ice will melt into groundwater, someone will get to collect maple sap, and the sun will return soon. And loneliness? I could get a "real job" and hang out with people instead of goats and chickens. Maybe I will get a chance to visit DH out of town. Maybe it's time to find some friends who aren't tied to husbands and children, like me. As far as not accomplishing all my goals, I think the last year has taught me an important lesson: God did stretch me. He stretched my attitude. I'm going into 2014 with a positive balance- from a reality check.